Phil and I got an Instant Pot for Christmas last year. I’ve been learning to use this new piece of equipment. I comes with recipes, so I’ve been trying some new things. Some are pretty tasty.
I’ve been trying some of my old favorites and they work famously in the new gizmo. Some not so much. I’ve had two failures recently. I have a spare rib in bbq sauce that does famously in the crock pot. I decided to use pork loin instead of pork ribs - I don’t know if it was the different meat or what, but the sauce wasn’t very good. Meat was nice and tender, but the sauce was too sharp with vinegar. I decided to try my beef stroganoff recipe. Nope. Not a winner.
But, I keep trying!
I like the idea that I can put something into the Instant Pot and it’s done in about an hour—rather than waiting for at least three hours with a crock pot or slaving over a stove mixing and stirring other meals. This allows me to do a bunch of other stuff most days without thinking about the main meal of the day until the later.
Planning and meal prep has been a major portion of my day—every day for most of my life. Having a new toy . . . I mean, a new tool, makes it a bit more fun and interesting. With the latest failures, the word “interesting” takes on new meaning.
I like the flavor of the old and familiar. I like the speed of new and different. Will the worlds collide? Will I be able to blend the two? Maybe not. Maybe I’ll learn new recipes the new way and do the old and familiar recipes the old way.
I’ve done it before . . . When Phil discovered his gluten intolerance, everything shifted. I had to learn a whole new way of cooking. Now we are both gluten free. The shift was a lot easier with the pattern already in place.
So time to adapt again. Time to find some new patterns/recipes. The hardest part is the trying and failing. Yet, without failing, I don’t know what works (or what doesn’t). Failing holds great value! Failure teaches us things that success cannot reveal.
My chili was too thick for the Instant Pot. So was my stroganoff. I’m learning. Bless Phil’s heart—he will eat even the failures—unless they are burned. His willingness spurs me on to try again. What will it be today? Good thing the weather is turning cooler and we can have some hearty soups. My squash soup in the Instant Pot was spectacular! Success! I’ll do more of that and mark stroganoff off my Instant Pot list.
It’s hard to let go of what doesn’t work. Part of me thinks that if I just tried harder . . .
Don’t we keep trying things that don’t work? We think it will work this time. It won’t. Let it go. Time to utilize new tools and techniques for a happier result. It’s hard to try something new. It’s hard to let go of what used to work. Failure is our friend—when we listen.
What’s our friend Failure teaching us right now? What are we learning? What new tools, techniques or patterns will help us have a better result? Take a new look. Take a new step.
I was resting outside in my lawn chair a few minutes ago. I ran through a few tapping rounds utilizing the 5 Waterfalls of Light info. I tapped the heal of my hand and said, “I hereby move into the Waterfalls of Light.” I tapped over of the tapping points saying, “I step into Active Peace wherein I enjoy relaxed intensity.” I then tapped through the other tapping points saying, “I access Vitality by releasing efforting/anguishing about things I cannot change nor things I do not understand.” Then I did a round of tapping saying, “I notice Courage building as I get clearer and stronger.” Then, “I open myself to Expansive Awareness that allows me to be guided and become aware of that guidance.” Then, “I sense a renewed depth of Compassion for myself and for others as a result.” Then I just continued to rest in the lawn chair with my eyes closed expecting to fall asleep.
For some unknown reason, I opened my eyes.
Soaring right above me was a RED-TAILED HAWK!
The Red-Tailed Hawk is a spirit animal totem for me. I told Phil and he saw it too (so it was for real!)
I cannot tell you the gratitude that flowed from my heart at that moment! It was profound! I have not seen a hawk over our property since the construction started over 4 years ago. I occasionally will hear a hawk’s piercing cry as it hunts in the nearby fields for mice, but this is the first sighting in years.
Why did I open my eyes?
Why at that very moment did I see that hawk?
Was it because I had finished tapping the 5 Waterfalls of Light, I was feeling Peace, Vitality, Courage, Expanded Awareness and Compassion? I was, certainly, at that very moment, guided to open my eyes to receive the blessing of sighting my spirit animal.
The Red-Tailed Hawk symbolizes one who is aware of the interconnectedness of all things and holds a reverence for all life. It bestows the gift of vision and inspiration for guidance for others in their awakening. (adapted from Ted Andrews, Animal Speak)
I must admit, I had been feeling kinda low and feeling as if I wasn’t very connected. Apparently that connection was renewed BIG TIME!!!
We all could use renewal now and then. I’m so grateful I felt led to do some tapping. I’m so very grateful I responded to the sense to open my eyes. I’m so very grateful my connection was renewed in a big way!
How might you renew your own connection? There is no wrong way to reconnect. Tapping is just one way. Prayer is another (though I think the tapping that I was doing WAS a prayer!) Taking time to notice the bright things in one’s life. Even when we are down or feeling low, Spirit can and will bring to our attention bright things to brighten our day.
We often feel guilty for feeling down or low. That’s a part of that efforting/anguishing that we get to let go of. We can let go of shame and blame about our life’s journey and step up into a greater awareness of who we really are and how truly connected we can be. May your connection be blessed!
My phone is wasting away. Its poor little battery gets hot when I go online. Its little screen is cracked. Alas, I must replace it.
NOOOOOOooooo!!! Not the new phone syndrome! Everything will change! I won’t be able to find anything at first.
Okay, so my phone is really old. It’s pretty pitiful. I knew this day would come. So, I have insurance on the phone and I get to have it replaced with a newer version for a deductible fee – a whole lot less than the $700 for a new phone. I’m good with that!
So, after sending several sets of documents in to the insurance company and babying the old phone, I’ll be ready for the new one. It took the agony of dealing with recharging the phone several times a day and turning off the mobile data for me to become willing to accept and even welcome change.
I think change is hard on all of us. We hold on to what we know even if it no longer serves us. (At least I don’t think I’m the only one who resists change!) Sometimes the Universe asks us to move forward into something new and wonderful and we resist because the act of changing feels difficult. The Universe then asks more loudly for us to shift and move into something beautiful and new. Do we jump into the new effortlessly?
NOPE! Not me, anyway. I like the familiarity of the old. My auto pilot functions just fine here. Gotta love that auto-pilot. . . no thinking, just automatically cruising along. Not really enjoying life, but not getting into difficulty either. Just hovering and getting the little tasks done that deem themselves necessary in our lives.
Eerk! Gotta pull myself up short on that one! Just cruising is fine if you are on a cruise ship. Just cruising mindlessly through life robs me of all the possible joy available in each moment.
Certainly, I don’t need to concentrate on every tooth while I’m brushing my teeth, auto-pilot can assist with that and free my brain to consider other things. Yet, without attentiveness, I may push too hard on the brush and do damage. Or, I may miss a spot that could lead to decay. Hmmm. Best be a bit mindful even of teeth brushing. So, how is brushing one’s teeth joyful? I have teeth! I get to keep them clean so they bless my smile! I get to . . . brush my teeth!
When I allow myself to move with the directives brought by the Universe, I move into a state of “get to.” I get to do whatever is in my heart to do, and I get to do that with joyful intent. I get to learn to utilize a new phone! I certainly hope only a limited number of swear words are necessary before I become an accomplished user of my new phone. If not swear words, at least I hope I’m saved from moments of exasperation and frustration. I get to be patient with myself as I learn to navigate the new system. I get to be intrigued by any new formatting.
Now, we wait for the new phone to arrive. I get to nurse the old phone just a little while longer and hope it stays alive long enough to transfer data over. I get to be okay with that, too.
I’ve created a new definition of patience – it is peace in the unfolding. I get to be at peace while this situation unfolds. I cannot rush it by becoming impatient. I cannot delay it by being stuck in the old pattern. I get to be in a holding pattern but without struggle or difficulty. At least in this moment. I may make a new choice in the next five minutes and become exasperated. Or, I may choose to be with this as it unfolds – neither dreading nor fretting.
We shall see . . . let’s hope I choose peace in the unfolding!
A change is due.
Oh, no. Not again!
Change happens. Shift happens.
But, things are comfortable the way they are!
The winds of change are blowing.
Lumps of dough on a cookie sheet become cookies with just a little heat and a little time. Wet clothes become dry with just a push of a dryer button or with a clothesline, a little sunshine, and a gentle breeze. Day slips into night without any effort. Seasons flow effortlessly through their appointed rounds. Change happens effortlessly.
Jesus turned water into wine with the power of intent and through His Divine Authority. Are you not divine in spirit?
The struggle comes from lack of clarity of intent. Before there was cookie dough, there was intent to create cookies; the gathering and mixing of ingredients; the spooning of dough onto the cookie sheet; setting the oven; setting the timer and waiting. These steps require action, yet the amount of effort depends upon the amount of resistance or dread. Making cookies out of duty or obligation adds a heaping measure of resistance and effort! Making cookies out of willingness and joyful anticipation of sharing the result with loved ones creates delight, fun, and creativity.
The key then rests upon noticing the intent of any action taken. Am I responding to unexpressed expectations? (My own or someone else’s) Am I in auto pilot where I’ve cut off my spirit, my willingness, my intent, and my divine nature?
Am I pulling weeds because I hate weeds or because I love the sight of weed-free flowers blooming in the yard? Ok, so there may be a measure of satisfaction when a weed lets go with just the right amount of pulling on my part. Even so, what is the intent? Hate? Or satisfaction and joy? Which most easily gets me off the sofa and into the garden? Which offers sustainable energy to keep me motivated to finish?
What might you really prefer in your life? What intent underlies your life right now? Does resistance ever stop change from happening? Do expectations fill the soul? Right now, there is an underlying intent running in your life. Your life is the result of this
intent. Do you like what you are experiencing? Wonderful! Keep supporting that intent and flowing with that energy.
If life seems difficult right now, a change is due. If struggles bite at your heels, you know you are ready for a change.
Focus upon selecting a clear intent for this change. Create an “I Am” statement to support the journey. “I Am peaceful.” “I Am living abundantly.” “I Am supported and blessed.” “I Am blessed and am a blessing.” Be very clear with this broad intent.
The Universe then supports change in your behalf by bringing you insights and awareness for your next step for your journey as it unfolds effortlessly.
The winds of change are blowing. You are the source of change in your own life and for changes in the world.
We had some pretty stiff winds a while ago.
I got a call from Phil mid-morning asking me to go check on our new little tree. The tree is a tiny little thing. It is sprangly with branches at the top and a long narrow stem. It’s the same tree as the other huge Dawn Redwood that stands on the other side of our back yard. The older tree is huge and a lovely green that turns a beautiful rust color in the fall and loses its leaves/needles in the winter. My momma planted that tree. It’s really crowded between a blue spruce and the tulip tree. We bought a second tree and gave it plenty of room to grow.
This poor little sprout snapped in the wind. I nearly cried. I’m so glad Phil had the nudge to call me when he did! It appeared to have just happened and the stem and leaves were still green.
Well, I propped the little thing up; taped its broken stem, and gave it a good watering and a healing. It withstood the rest of the windstorm.
Now, it’s turning that rust color. That means to me that the little thing isn’t getting sufficient sap to the top. I’m still hoping that the stem will grow around the wound and heal sufficiently to get the sap going.
Fortunately, we’ve had mild weather and some rain, so this little guy isn’t stressed too badly. High heat would be the death of it, I’m sure.
There is a tiny bit of a green branch growing from the bottom of the stem. If the top doesn’t make it, the bottom has a great chance of making it. I’m still in high hopes of the main stem healing and creating a big beautiful tree.
Time will tell.
So it is with a lot of things, isn’t it? Time will tell.
We do our best to heal our own wounds and we still aren’t sure we will ever be okay. We do our best to heal wounded relationships and we still aren’t sure those will ever be okay.
We do our best.
We mend and make amends. We pray for the right conditions for things to heal and get better. Then we wait. We watch and wait. I’ve visited that little tree just about every day. I walk up the hill to the back end of the property with mixed feelings of hope and dread. I walk down the hill will gratitude that it’s still here another day, accepting that uncertainty is a part of the process.
Whatever you are waiting on – your own healing or the healing of a friendship or a situation, we wait and we watch. We do our part and allow ourselves a measure of gratitude and a heaping helping of uncertainty.
We check in and step back. The hardest part is allowing things to be as they are. I knew I could have staked that little thing earlier. But, alas, it is what it is. And I can only do what I can only do in this moment.
We do what we can and we allow space for Divine Source to do the real work. We engender hope and trust and keep the faith.
So, I accidentally clicked a couple of buttons thinking I was going to capitalize something . . . Instead, all the print got really BIG! If I could remember what I did, I could reverse it. But, alas, I was on auto-pilot, so I have not idea. Now I have to look it up and figure it out, but what a pain! At least once I do that I will have learned something and hopefully can repeat the process when I choose to have bigger print. I’m ageing up, that could become important to me.
Isn’t that how our lives work?
We accidentally do something we hadn’t intended and then have to fix it. I think sometimes those accidents aren’t accidents. Sometimes I think those things are blessings in disguise! I would never have considered enlarging the view. I would have squinted.
Because we don’t know what we don’t know.
When life throws something at us, we are being shown something new or different. Without this new view, we would keep on doing what we are doing exactly the same way we always have. There may be 10 different ways to do something better, but, for us, we choose to do what we know because learning is so hard.
Is it? Is learning hard?
Sometimes, yes! Sometimes, no. Learning is hardest when we are stuck in our old ways. True? When we are looking for a better way and something presents itself, its really easy to try, because we are open and ready for that which is new!
When we are accustomed to how it is, we don’t look for a better way. It’s our way or the hi-way, right? Yup. We humans would rather struggle along that try something new. Because we might fail. We might not do it “right” or perfectly the first time.
And yet, failure is the beauty of learning. We can let that attempt go because it didn’t work for us. Instead, we get discouraged and forget to try something else. It takes great courage to step out of same-ol’ same-ol’.
So how does one access courage? Often courage is thrown at us when the option of giving up isn’t available. My computer screen view was HUGE. Two words and the page would shift! Totally unworkable! My options were struggle or find a better way.
With the fear of failure far less in energy than the HUGE WORDS IN MY FACE, courage happened. Even if I screwed something up, that’s better than what I was experiencing!
Was that courage or was that desperation? Sometimes courage is both! Courage isn’t the lack of fear, it’s the willingness to move beyond fear to a different outcome.
I bet you are facing something or some things right now that you don’t want to face. Yet, you will. You will find the courage and you will find the better way, the clearer path.
Courage is already there. Courage awaits your awareness.
Sometimes things have to get HUGE IN OUR FACE before we can see it’s time to take a new look. With that new look comes a new path. You can and will walk it with courage. It’s already there.
I found myself caught in a flashback experience from many years ago. I had accomplished something I really had stretched to do. I delivered my “performance” to the best of my abilities and I knocked it out of the ball park.
Here’s what’s got me stumped. I don’t have any regrets. I don’t have any hurt feelings. I have no negative experiences about it. However, the experience haunts me. There must be a message for me here or it would not have come up- come to the surface- come to my attention.
What happened was this. A couple of people were doing a song for a big church dinner. They needed a soprano for just a few lines. We sang the song, “The Rose” by Bette Midler. It was beautiful. The song crescendos to the part . . . “When the night has been too lonely and the road has been too long, and you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong.”
I sang those lines – well, belted them out actually – an octive higher than the others were singing – on key I might add. There was thunderous applause. Afterwards, people were congratulating the other two on that song in particular. Especially that soprano part. The other two didn’t say anything and I merely said, I sang the soprano. The response was, “Oh.”
Now, I didn’t get my feelings hurt. It’s not about that. Had I been someone who needed positive feedback, it would have crushed me. If I had been someone who enjoyed praise, I would have felt less than. I had no negative feelings what so ever. It is like a space here. A void. Like an emptiness – nothing negative and nothing positive. No one did any harm. Yet no one did any good either. Empty space of neutrality.
This neutral energy brings to my attention how important encouragement of others resonates with me. Even to the point where I feel withholding a kindness is akin to cruelty.
If you have a kind word to say, say it. Even if it’s dismissed, the empty space of neutrality has been filled.
What lies within this neutral emptiness is opportunity for self-doubt, self-criticism, shame, blame – all of that stuff. One kind word could mean the world to someone else. And kindness fills a void that otherwise might be filled with negativity.
To be honest, I think the empty that was handed to me was meant to be a slight or a rejection. I’m so grateful that that particular person’s opinion didn’t matter. The fact that not even one other person mentioned to me personally that they liked this performance shows how pervasive the attitude of dismissal ran through that church. No wonder I have Post Traumatic Church Syndrome! (If you haven’t read that book, you might want to!)
I see this in stark contrast to the people and the Divine Fellowship who encourage one another without fail! How wonderful to walk past a conversation and hear people encouraging one another!
You’ve heard, “If you cannot say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” (Bambi’s mother said that.) I say, find something of encouragement to say! Like:
If anyone can figure it out, you can.
I know you’ll do fine.
I’m sure you’ll find a way.
Whatever you choose will be a blessing, I’m sure.
I know you can listen to your heart and choose wisely.
You are an expression of Divine Light.
Ask for words of encouragement to be gifted to you from Divine Source. Words will come!
Here’s the real kicker! What do you say to yourself in those moments of neutral-emptiness? Do you fill the emptiness with self-derision or criticism? Do you grieve because someone else couldn’t tell you what you needed to hear? Speak words of encouragement to yourself! Pour the Light of Love through your awareness into your own heart-space! Speak the loving truth to yourself. Watch yourself grow and shine!
Nice words from others are just that . . . nice. Powerful words of encouragement to ourselves evokes change, growth, and inspiration!
Speak encouragement to yourself today and see how your world changes. And let’s speak encouragement to others and watch them grow.
I’ve been out in our yard a lot lately. Pulling weeds. Picking up bark mulch that flew out of the flower beds and into the gravel. Pulling more weeds. Sitting and staring out into the yard trying not to drool.
All this time in nature has been wonderful for my soul. Being around rooted things brings me back into balance. Computer stuff, writing, document formatting, answering e-mails activates the thinking brain. Nature activates the body and when viewed with appreciation and gratitude, activates the soul – which in turn clears the brain and helps it process data more clearly.
While all this balancing happens, I’m reading some self-help books. One particular book focuses on clearing and staying in the moment. Several exercises directed by the book involved looking inside to see where certain aspects of my past might be holding me captive and locked down. One focus activity didn’t really feel like much of anything. The next, maybe a little. The next one, wow! Knocked me flat. Oh, ouch! I found a sore spot I didn’t even know was there.
Fortunately, the book is about clearing, so I’ve been repeating the exercise/activity to get clearer. I’m still not totally clear, but I’m getting there. (Tapping Solutions – any of their books offer great processes!)
As I’m looking at these past situations and clearing them, I realized how many times I didn’t say no when I really wanted to. I felt forced or driven to say or do something that was not in alignment to who I am or at least who I wanted to be.
It feels like being a child where I was not allowed to say no to my parents set me up to not say no to anyone. I certainly don’t like to see children arguing with their folks and being bratty. At the same time, it would really be great if we could teach our children to say no, thank you.
When my son was little, he would say, “No-danks!” when offered something he didn’t want. Usually, his “No-danks!” was honored when I could grant him that liberty. If it was “No-danks!” - I don’t want a bath or bedtime, then our response may have been a bit different. I would let him decide if he would rather play with his cars first or read a book first, but the bath or bedtime was not optional. (He loved baths, btw.)
I was not granted those liberties. It was how my parents said and that was it.
So, when friends wanted me to do something marginal, I went along with it. I betrayed myself and I had been still carrying that regret. Suppressed regret sucks a lot of energy! It’s like holding a helium balloon down. Not a lot of weight to it, but it wants to lift up and fly away. Over time, holding that down takes a lot of effort! Looking at past regret seems scary or, like in my case, I didn’t even know it was there! I had to be prompted into conscious awareness of its presence. Once I discovered its existence, I wanted it gone!!! I’ve taken off a few layers and as more lifts up into my awareness, I can release that, too.
So, learning to say “No” appropriately would have really helped me.
It’s never too late to learn!
I’ve shared this with you before – maybe you remember the story of the neighbor who repeatedly borrowed my car the only day I could get it. She would keep it all day and I’d have to RUN to get my errands and groceries done before I had to pick up my husband at work.
One day, I absolutely didn’t want to do that again. I couldn’t say “No” but what was I to do!?! I prayed about it. When she called, I prayed again. When she asked to borrow the car, out of my mouth came the response, “I’m uncomfortable with that.”
Lo and behold! She just said, “Okay. I’ll see if I can borrow Suzie’s car.”
Knock me over with a feather! I was 25 years old and it was the first time I’d ever said any form of “NO”. It was easier than I thought!
Here are some other creative ways to say the “No” word . . .
· I’ve done that for you in the past, but it doesn’t fit for me now.
· No, Danks! (lol)
· What other options do you have?
· Hmm. That’s not going to work for me.
· Maybe another time, but not this time.
· Can I get back to you on that?
Remember: Giving an excuse can and will be used against you. I can’t because . . . sets you up for all kinds of manipulation about whether your excuse is valid or worthy enough to turn them down. Don’t go there! Stick with a clear (as clear as you can get) “No-danks!”
Part of my clearing process led me to recognize that I’m holding on to regret to keep myself from making the same mistakes. What?!? The clearing process helped me also realize that I’m not the same person I was 30 or 40 years ago. I have a few more tools
in my personal toolbox and my spiritual toolbox. People pleasing or going along to not make waves isn’t a tool I use anymore. I have power tools that support and guide my path. Regret doesn’t keep me safe at all . . . it just keeps me locked down and exhausted!
Time to toss regret out the window and into the ethereal recycling center. I shed a few tears. Acknowledged some fears. Shed a few more tears, then tossed regret out. I did the best that I could with the tools I’d been taught. I can live with that knowledge and grow and be free.
I feel as if I’ve healed a really sad and lonely part of me. Perhaps more will bubble up down the road. For now, I’m free.
Take a few moments to see what regrets may be lurking. Things you could have done, but didn’t. Kindnesses withheld. Things you didn’t like doing or didn’t like the results. That was then. This is now. Breathe and let go of regret. You are learning a much more powerful way of being that blesses you and those around you.
Test drive a few new “No-danks!” comments and find your favorite. Let me know if you come up with any new ones that I could use, too!
It’s okay to say, “No” when your heart and soul are not in harmony with something being asked of you. People will find their own way. That’s what God is for. Let them ask Spirit for help and assistance. Doors open that you could not do for them. Trust In Divine Source (God/Spirit) to do what is necessary. Trust gives you energy while regret steals it. Trust and be free. We can learn this together!
So, my brother and I just got back from a workshop we attended together. It was about meditations to improve intuition. Have you heard of Jose Silva? It was a Mind-Valley class based upon Silva’s work.
The class was pretty cool. Well, all except the red folding metal chairs. (Yikes!) As we were leaving Seattle for our 3 ½ hour drive home, we chatted about the class and what we got out of it. That’s a great way to retain the information received from any class – talk about it right away.
I did have one thing that I just didn’t care for. At one point the presenters started talking about all the important or famous people that have taken these classes. I shut down pretty darn fast when that starts to happen. Well, my brother said he really LIKED that part! It helped him to make it real to recognize who also participated.
Well isn’t that crazy!
The very thing that annoyed me was the very thing he needed!
People are so weird, are we not?
If I hadn’t mentioned my reaction, I would still have gotten stuck in the fact that the “name-dropping” was uncomfortable for me. Now I can see that it may not fit for me, but is important to others! I get to get over myself about that. I get to shift my perception and move into a more expansive point of view!
Makes me wonder where else I’ve gotten stuck in my own preferences and haven’t allowed for the preferences of others. I just automatically assume others are just like me.
During the processes for the class, my brother and I had opposite skill sets. One part of the processes I did really well and one part he did really well. One part he thought had great value while I got a bit bored.
Even though we had totally different responses to the workshop, we both enjoyed it and got a lot out of it.
The lesson for me here is not getting backed up because I don’t prefer something a certain way. It’s also a heads up for me to vary my teaching techniques a bit more. Hmmm. Lots to ponder about that!
Because I care about my brother, I could accept his perspective with loving awareness. If it was someone else, would I be more likely to criticize
or reject them because they perceived things differently? I hope not, not so sure! My opinions feel really right to me and really strong to me. I’m grateful this opportunity showed up to teach me yet another level of acceptance and inclusion.
I don’t have to agree with my brother. In fact, it would be destructive for me to dismiss my opinion and accept his, just because he said that’s how it is for him. I get to have my own views and opinions. I just don’t get to expect others to think or feel that same way.
In my first marriage, I would have doubted myself and felt as if my feelings and ideas were wrong. I would have tried to make myself like something that didn’t fit for me. Not only would that make me unhappy, it would make me fake – untrue to myself. Not worth it.
If someone attempts to push their opinions upon you, you can recognize that you view things differently. That’s wonderful! At the same time, hold to your own space and awareness. I didn’t try to make my brother dislike the naming-of-names. In turn, he didn’t mock me for not liking that. We just found it really amusing.
Let’s find more opportunities for amusement and less opportunities for argument.
So, I got my feelings hurt this morning. I was sharing something I thought was important and the person I was talking to interrupted me to tell me about something else. I let it slide knowing that they had a lot on their mind. When they did it a second time in our conversation, I felt hurt.
We concluded our talk and went on about our day.
I felt bummed out. I felt mad that I wasn’t listened to. I felt disappointed that something I was excited about was discarded so easily by someone I cared about. I felt irritated for all the times I listened to things they had to say whether I was directly interested or not.
I began to stew. My brain brought up all the other times this person has done this very thing!
Then I stopped myself short. This was getting me nowhere but in a dark spiral downward. No! Not going there!
I could call a friend who would side with me and support me in my sorrow. That would be really nice, but that would also keep me stuck there.
I could call another friend who would tell me to get over it. That might be a good idea, but certainly wouldn’t make me feel any better. And truth be known, I didn’t want to get over it! It hurt!
What other choice might I have?
I could find a way to shift . . . couldn’t I?
I did some writing about a totally different subject. That got me a bit of distance from the hurt feelings. I sat out in the sun for a bit and did some reading. That got me a bit more distance from the hurt feelings. I was taking care of myself. Nurturing myself.
Then I got to thinking about it again from a different perspective – a nurtured perspective. I got to thinking about where the other person was and the difficulty that was weighing on them. They whole heart and mind was consumed with their current challenge. Their slighting me had nothing to do with me. I could take their slight personally or I could see it for what it really was – their own pain taking over their awareness.
In that moment, I decided to recognize their pain and their challenge with compassion. All of a sudden, my own hurt feelings vanished. I began to consider how I might be more supportive of them. I also began to remember all the times they were supportive of me! I had forgotten! My feeling hurt had blinded me from that truth!!
My decision to recognize them with compassion totally eliminated the pain I had been feeling. It was GONE!!
What a huge relief!
I was then able to joyfully begin writing this to you. What a huge shift!
I think this shift is called forgiveness